Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
