Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
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I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
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It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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