I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
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How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
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I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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