Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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