i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize