you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
