If i come over, it means nothing
I'm eating all of the evidence.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
