Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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