mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize