I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
15 Times â€śFlight of the Conchordsâ€ť Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.