as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?