God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.