Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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