I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize