Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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