Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
