I will die if light touches me.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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