oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
