Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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