If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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