so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
