We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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