and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
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He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
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Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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