your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize