This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
