Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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