Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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