Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
