So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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