I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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