"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
