I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
