after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
