How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
