1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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