I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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