fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
jump out the window naked night went bad
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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