yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
