My friends, they love my intelligence
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
