As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
