she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
