just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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