I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
