I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The Olympian is in my bed
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
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