let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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