Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
