Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
