Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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