so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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