Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
