After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
