and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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