Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm jealous of your bromance
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
