i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
