Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize