we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
