What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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