Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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