my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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