You're earring is so big in my mouth
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
