it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
birth control should be required to get into college
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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