had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
