...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
