I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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