I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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