then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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