just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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