She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
