So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
